Not All Those Who Wonder Are Lost

 

I am cringing a bit using a massively misquoted and over used line from Lord of the Rings as a title for my blog post. Especially as I don't even like Lord of the Rings that much, but sometimes there are feelings I have  that I know others have expressed much eloquently then I ever could. I am not entirely sure what this post is going to be about as such, because I don't think I've quite come to terms with my own inability to have a direction in life. In England at least we are pressured into choosing what our entire futures will look like at sixteen, although after the recent Gove education reforms this now looks more like fourteen. It is almost impossible at fourteen to know what kind of person you will be by the time you are an adult, you can't know what is going to happen in the world, what is going to happen to you, where you will be living or what opportunities will come your way. There is so much pressure to go to university or have a job as soon you leave school, you go from being babied and spoon fed to  having the world on your shoulders as soon as you get your GCSE results. £27, 000 is a lot of money to owe when you might not be sure that you even want to go to university at all. At my college we were made to feel like university is the only real option if you want to have a happy successful life, that Oxbridge is what everyone should want and that taking anymore than a year off between A levels and University is life ruining. I don't really want to document my feelings of disappointment towards my college and their actions on this blog, but I will say that they were incredibly unwilling to be flexible with me and my illnesses. I was made to feel that if I wasn't able to be a "normal" student then I might as well not bother with my exams at all, I might as well just give up completely.

 

Something which is rarely acknowledged is that often at some stage in your life things will fall apart, you will have to change the way you live, change your plans and you aspirations. I am often saying to my Mum how different I feel I am now to how I was last year, in a relatively short time I have gone from someone who was extremely argumentative and felt the need to get involved in every discussion to someone who glazes over and no longer cares. Of course these changes are due to unusual circumstances but I have been through so many stages in the last few years and at the time I was always convinced that I would stay that way forever. For years I thought I wanted to be an artist, I couldn't stand the idea of studying in a formal setting or wearing suits and being in an office, I then did a complete 360 and decided I wanted to be a lawyer and become some kind of leader of justice. My other great life plans have included being a writer, a teacher, a journalist and a politician. So what do I want to do now? The reality is I don't have any idea what I want to now and I don't think I need to, whilst seem people are sure of their future and do exactly what they planned a lot of people don't. Both of my parents took an untraditional route into education and did a lot of different jobs before and after, that doesn't make their achievements any less valid. My point is, you don't have to follow the status quo, you don't have to spend your life doing something you hate because it earns you money or looks impressive to other people. As dark as it sounds I have accepted that no one really knows what is going to happen in their life, just because those around you appear to have everything sorted out it doesn't mean they always will.

 

 

I seem to have written quite a lot without really saying much, there is so much to say about a topic like this but my brain is in medicated "brain fog" mode and I have begun to forget what my name is, let alone being capable enough to construct a readable sentence. I think there is a lot of media hype about my generation being lazy, I don't think we are lazier than those who came before us, we just are expected to set our sights on being an over educated professional, anything less makes you less of a member of society, whether you enjoy it or not (or so the Conservatives belief). It is alright to not know what you want to do with your life, not all those who wander are lost and not all that glitters is gold.

 

 

A Lifetime of Wardrobe Malfunctions

Rings (left to right) Topshop, Primark, Primark ( gold band), vintage, Topshop

My whole family seem to have been born with an incredible talent for having wardrobe malfunctions, we may be up there with Janet Jackson or Fergie who arguably have had some of the funniest wardrobe malfunctions ever. For instance, at my sister's graduation meal my Mother managed to drop all her white top, then she tried to wet a red napkin to wipe it away which in turn left her with a massive red stain on top of the curry stain. I always seem to somehow have a wardrobe malfunction at nearly every single formal occasion there is- there was the time I flashed my whole bum to a restaurant of Italians, or the time where my trousers ripped from crotch to feet in school, you name it and chances are its happened to me. This skirt is no exception, I asked for it from my birthday thinking it would be a a heavy quality and a little bit longer. Unfortunately missguided clothes do tend to feel the tiniest bit cheap ( which isn't that bad considering they are cheap) and I am almost 5'8' meaning this skirt is bum skimmingly short on me, every few steps I took yesterday I had to yank my skirt down to make sure it wasn't up around my waist. Not the most glamorous look. 

This outfit was mainly put together for dog walking purposes so I wanted it to look fairly nice but also be warm as my body runs at a naturally freezing temperature. This coat is from the reclaimed vintage section of Asos and came in at around £70 which does make me cringe slightly inside, hopefully I can get a good couple of years out of it as  it quite easily makes a dull outfit into something that stands out a bit more. The shirt I bought from Depop but was originally from Topshop, I love it but it is 100% silk and therefore creases every time you even move a tiny bit which can be annoying for someone who hates ironing. I really love the way the blue tones in the shirt make the skirt look more of a vivid blue as it can look a little wishy washy and cheap.

I may as well also address the elephant in the room- yes, I have dyed my hair, these photos make it look a lot more brown then it really is in real life. Overall I like it as I felt the whole bleached blonde look was very severe and my face look a lot harsher than it really is. I dyed it this colour in the hope I can grow out my natural hair, which is a "strawberry blonde" (ginger) colour as I haven't seen my natural hair since I was twelve and it has become very weak and dry from dying, bleaching and illness over the last year. Undoubtedly this colour won't last long in my hair though, I have had nearly every single hair colour there is, bright red, purple, blonde, yellow, pink, blue, black, brown and every shade in between. I am thinking in the near future I will have to a post of my many different hair shades, although it might take my a worryingly long time, there some absolute shockers that I am sure many people would like to save and look at when they need a laugh.

Headband- Amazon 

Jacket- Asos 

Shirt- Depop 

Skirt- Missguided 

Rings- see above 

Nail Varnish- Sally Hansen Gem Crush in "Cha-Ching"