Go Your Own Way

I haven't done a huge amount of blog posting this week, for a couple of reasons. Firstly, my Nan came to visit from Saturday to Wednesday, I haven't spent a lot of time with her in the last ten years and I really wanted to get to know her better and not just sit on my computer, it is strange how you can connect with family so easily even if you hardly know them at all. This blog acts as somewhat of a distraction for the fact that I can't do much at the moment, but if by some miracle I suddenly have a new lease of life or develop a huge circle of friends I probably won't post as much. The second reason is that my head has been a big ball of stress over the last week, I have found out I need to pay £300 to take my A Levels next year despite sitting my exams at the same time, in the same place as every else at my old college. That combined with my general stress about applying for university, worrying about getting a job and sorting out my health has taken up most of my time and brain. 

It's not that I am ungrateful for all the things I do have like a family, somewhere safe to live and (some) money. It is just that there is enough pressure on young people as it is, without having to worry about how on earth I am going to be able to teach myself my A Levels this year, or how I can work when I still need to take two or three hour naps a day. It is very frustrating to have the motivation and ambition towards work, university and achieving something in life but physically being unable to do it. I spend a lot of my time worrying that other people think I am lazy for not having a job or that other people think I'm babied and spoilt by my parents, despite the fact that I know I am not lazy just ill and never receive any money from my parents other than my inheritance which I live off ( I don't think dead parents count). I suppose I should remember the saying "What Susie says of Sally, says more about Susie than it does of Sally", if anything this year has at least taught me to not assume that other people have it easy or make quick judgments about what other people do and just hope others do the same. One of the main reasons why I have taken blogging a bit slower recently is because I go at everything at hundred miles per hour and look at everything in life like it is a job. So, lazy? No. A bit full on and over enthusiastic? Always. 

Today is the first day where I have really noticed the growth in my hair, I can now tie it up in a bun with very minimal hair pins and look worryingly similar to old pictures of my Dad. I have been growing my hair out since February, mostly because my medical condition makes the thought of someone touching my head seem like a horrific punishment. But also because I have had a pixie cut since I was thirteen, I briefly grew it out before but now I feel like I need a change, something a little more feminine and softer. I am luckily that my hair grows incredibly quickly, my aim is to get it past my shoulders by this time next year which I will easily achieve. Although my hair grows fast I do have to look after it and use the right products otherwise it grows into a giant tangle that  looks like a strange wavy mullet- attractive I know. This outfit was chosen for another day of house work, dog walking and constant worrying. I am resisting the warm weather and am happily pretending it is freezing despite the factual difference, I want it to be Christmas- therefore I will dress like it is Christmas ( a logical theory). I like the trousers but I do always feel a little bit clown like in non tailored trousers, they are also a tiny bit big for me and seem to balloon a bit comically for my liking. I would definitely recommend Fashion Union for Primark priced pieces that are of reasonably high quality and follow the trends.

Coat- Asos 

Top- Primark 

Trousers- Fashion Union (at Asos)

Shoes- Dr Martens 

Autumn Layering

It looks like the typical British autumn is finally making an appearance, it's been pouring down today in Somerset, the kind of day where you want to stay in your pajamas, drink tea and watch a film. Did I do any of these things? Of course not, my Nan has been visiting over the past few days and has bought her little shih tzu x toy poodle with her to  meet my puppy Rosie. As cute has this has been, it has also been incredibly chaotic as my puppy weighs a whole six kilos more than hers and keeps bowling her over at any opportunity. As the result of my dog chaos I have been forced out into this miserable day to walk them both, not a pleasant experience. If like me, you find yourself having to walk around in the blustery autumn weather than layering is your best way to keep as dry and warm as possible. I have compiled a short list of a few layering essentials for the what is arguably the best season.

• Shoes- I absolutely despise getting soggy feet when I am out walking in the rain, no one wants to sit in school or work with soggy feet for a whole day. I have found one of the best ways to look "put together" and stylish but stay dry is to wear shoes with a huge platform. There are loads of great platform boots out at the moment (here and here are my favourites) which are perfect for dressing up a boring outfit and adding an element of 90s grunge that is popular at the moment. Another option is to wear creepers which are excellent at keeping your feet out of puddles, I tend to buy mine from Amazon as they are so much cheaper and lighter but still give the desired creeper look. 
• Capes and Coats-  Coats are obviously an essential come Autumn/Winter and in my opinion no coats keep you as warm and dry as the parka. Most come with hoods you can put up in the rain and a furry lining to keep you warm. I have this parka from Asos, I specifically bought this as it has one of the most feminine shapes I've seen and has knitted cuffs to keep your arms nice and warm in the snow. Another great way to layer that is currently in style is the cape, I love these as they double up as a blanket if you are having to do long, cold train or bus journeys. Most high street stores are doing them this season my favourite I've seen so far are from Newlook. 
• Hats- I love wearing hats at all times of the year but in summer I always feel that likelihood of getting sweaty hat hair is increased massively by the heat. I love pairing outfits with floppy hats like this one with my outfits, it instantly gives a dressy stylish edge to an outfit without you having to put in too much effort, these hats look beautiful in camel or burgundy- typical autumn tones. If it is just too windy to wear a proper hat a beanie is great warmer alternative that can cover up any bad hair day and keep you insulated. All of the hats in this mood board are from Topshop, but Primark does great cheaper options if you are on a tighter budget. 
• Lipstick- Obviously Lipstick doesn't add a warm layer to your outfit but I feel that autumn is the perfect time of the year to wear a bold lip as they match the autumn palette of navy, burgundy and camel so well. I love the vampy shades from Sleek for a mid price option but Makeup Revolution sells highly pigmented vampy shades for just a pound if you aren't sure dark colours are for you. 

So these are my favourite picks of the moment, perfect for autumn layering, what do you love most about Autumn? 

University Stress

Winter has finally arrived, or so the weather reports have been saying on and off for the last month- although I'm told that this time it definitely is staying cold. Winter brings along many possibilities that summer can never give, I can stay inside all day and avoid the world with a reasonable excuse, I can buy more coats than anyone would ever possibly need and I can get my hot water bottle out without being mocked by those who don't feel the cold as much as me (everyone). I have already previously written a blog post gushing over why I love Christmas and why, in turn I love winter so I won't blather on anymore about that topic. Yesterday was one of those brilliant winter days where the sun is shining and there isn't a drop of rain, or a gust of wind all day but it still cold enough to need to wrap up warm. My Mother and I took the opportunity to walk Rosie our new puppy for an hour on two, resulting in me falling face first down a grassy hill and the puppy being momentarily terrified of me and what I was doing. My Mum did manage to capture this moment on camera but I have decided to keep it to myself to protect any pride I have left.

Unfortunately the last few days have been the kind of days where I'm not really fit for anything, my health issues make it difficult for me to achieve anything and over the last few days I have spent a good majority of my time sleeping. I won't start a therapy session right here and now but I do feel unsettled by a lot of uncontrollable things in my life at the moment. Currently I am having to think about the reality of applying for university this year, it is tricky to strike the balance between being realistic about your abilities and remaining positive and upbeat. In typical "me" fashion I am throwing myself into every single possible task as a way of distracting myself from what has been a fairly shit time. It is strange to look back over the last year and think how many things have changed and how much I have changed as a person, there is a sense of inevitability in my situation but it doesn't really make it any easier to deal with. 

On to lighter subjects- yesterday I decided to dress practically for the warmth, opting for a more comfortable outfit. I have always despised the idea that dressing comfortably should take priority over looking good, I used to put myself through all kinds of minor discomfort to look good. However, since being ill I have despised wearing tight things as they tend to feel like little needles digging into my hip bones and body, something which isn't very desirable. I bought the joggers pictured as I thought they would be comfortable, warm and maybe fit into the sports luxe trend, I'm not really sold on them completely but they are fine for dog walking in Somerset. I am also wearing my extremely battered and destroyed converse, these really shouldn't be worn anymore as they have holes in them, are falling apart and are no longer even vaguely white in colour but I just feel like they go with everything and I have a strange attachment to them. I am also wearing my newly purchased MAC lipstick in Russian Red, I am still cringing over spending this much on lipstick but it so beautiful. I ate three meals, had a nap, drank and went out wearing one coat of the lipstick and it didn't budge at all. I have never really appreciated high ends products, believing you are paying for the brand name over the quality a lot of the time, but this is one expensive item I think is worth the money. 

As a last note I would like to apologise to anyone who is neurotic as me for all the pictures in this post being different sizes. My brain is completely stressed out and muddled today and I just couldn't make them look how I wanted them to look. I realise the majority of people won't notice this but it does set my perfectionist side on edge!

Coat- Asos 

Shirt- Topshop 

Top- Urban Outfitters (sparkle and fade)

Joggers- Topshop 

Converse 

Lipstick- MAC Russian Red